Maybe you’re also the eldest child. Maybe you’re a child of immigrants. Maybe you were only noticed for your good grades or athletic abilities or creative talents. Maybe you have ADHD. Maybe you’re the child of divorce. Maybe you were part of a religious institution filled with strict “dos and don’ts”. Whatever caused it, I understand the weight of feeling like you need to be “perfect” all the time.

Perfectionism is a form of anxiety that impacts folks into feeling as though there is a correct way to do things and can have big consequences if you don’t perform in that “right” way. It often causes people to be high achievers with difficulty finding rest, or feeling as though rest can only be had when you work hard enough to earn it.

This is not the case! Perfectionism is a symptom of White Supremacy— rooted in the fallacy that there is a “White way”, ahem, “right way” to do something. This gets in the way of being able to feel our authentic, messy feelings.

When I work with folks hoping to recover from perfectionism, it looks a lot like practicing together. Practicing the ability to mess up, practicing self-compassion, practicing rest without working for it first, and practicing just trying.

I believe in you and your prerogative to be a full person who gets to fail. Let’s rewrite your narrative on being perfect together.